Miles to Go: On Wishes and Decisions (Fic for salimali)

[wishiknewwho]

Title: On Wishes and Bad Decisions
Author: wishiknewwho
Rating: T
Characters: Ten / Rose, OC
Dislcaimer: I don't own Doctor Who and it's probably just as well that I don't because it'd be nothing but hugs and hair ruffling for the foreseeable future.
Spoilers: None for DW; takes place in a world where Doomsday never happened. However, if you intend to read my fic Miles to Go and don't want it spoiled, you might want to wait on this one.
Summary: Rose comes home late one evening.
Author Notes: This was written for the gorgeous, lovely, and amazing salimali. And not just because she bought me paid LJ account, but because she is made of awesome as well. In fact, awesome actually looks up to her. Over the course of beta-ing Miles to Go, she requested a sleep-ruffled Doctor and she wanted Rose to jump him. I sort of wrote that.

Thanks to nipplemuggins for the excellent beta work.

Rose unlocked the door and let herself into the flat, sighing in relief to finally be home. She’d worked fourteen-hour shifts for three days straight. The owner of the shop was coming for an evaluation and she’d wanted everything to be perfect. That had meant working long hours and leaving the Doctor and Kira to fend for themselves. She’d barely seen her daughter in the past three days and the separation was beginning to takes its toll on her. She’d missed the Doctor as well, but he was usually at least still awake when she came in during the evenings.

 

The flat was dark, and she wondered if he’d already gone to sleep. The Doctor never needed as much sleep as she and Kira did, but the past couple of days had left him looking a little worse for wear. Perhaps he’d decided to turn in early. She frowned, but tried to push down the disappointment. It had been an exhausting few days for all of them, and she couldn’t fault them for being tired. They would spend time together tomorrow.

 

She crept down the hallway, wanting to sneak a glance at Kira before taking a shower and turning in herself. She expected to find her daughter, but instead she found both of them curled up on the bed, fast asleep.

 

She smiled to herself at the picture they made, Kira’s head pillowed on the Doctor’s chest, his arms wrapped tightly around her. Her little girl was so slow to trust sometime, rarely letting people in, yet she’d accepted the Doctor so easily, so openly, so fiercely. Rose swallowed. She was so happy that Kira had someone else to love her, someone else to love.

 

Rose stretched and yawned. She wanted to climb into bed with them, but Kira’s bed was too small for the three of them to sleep comfortably and she still needed a shower. She wondered what her chances were of getting them to move to the bigger bed; she’d missed them and wanted to have them near her.

 

After watching them for another moment or two, she turned and made her way back to the kitchen. She hadn’t eaten since lunch, and that had been hours ago. She was starving. She flicked on the light and her eye was drawn to the refrigerator and the crayoned note stuck to it with a magnet. Kira’s bright orange letters told her to “look inside.” She opened the fridge and found two slices of pizza, both with mushrooms, which she loved, but both the Doctor and the Kira hated. Her heart swelled with love for them and it was all she could do stop herself from going and waking them up to drown them in hugs and kisses.

 

Instead, she ate her pizza standing at the sink. The shop would have its evaluation early the next morning, and then she would have the evening free and the next two days off. She wondered if the Doctor would be up for taking a short holiday. Surely he and Kira were going a little mad after being cooped up in the flat for so long.

 

She’d almost finished when she heard someone come up behind her. She turned around to see the Doctor standing at the entrance to the kitchen, his hair dishevelled and falling in his eyes. He blinked in the bright light. 

 

“Rose?” he asked, bleary with sleep.

 

“Hello,” she said. “Thanks for the pizza.” She gestured with the piece of crust.

 

“When did you get home?” he asked. She noticed that he’d taken off his tie and jacket, rolled up his sleeves, and unbuttoned the top buttons of his shirt. Since he’d been living with them, she’d been trying to get him to dress a little more casually around the flat, but he’d refused the jeans and t-shirts she’d bought him. He did manage to put on a pair of pyjama bottoms at bedtime, but even that was a fight.

 

“About twenty minutes ago,” she replied, dropping the remainder of crust in the bin and taking a few sips of her water. “I saw you and Kira were asleep.”

 

“She wanted to stay up to see you,” he said, passing a hand through his hair. “She didn’t make it.”

 

“Neither did you,” she said with a smile.

 

“Neither did I,” he agreed, grinning a little sheepishly. “Our child is a handful.”

 

Rose nodded. “That she is. But I wouldn’t have her any other way.”

 

“Me neither,” he said. He took a couple of steps toward her. “I’ve missed you, Rose.” His words were soft and low, sending comfort and heat washing over her. “This flat feels so empty without you.”

 

She bit her lip for a moment. Comments like that still hurt sometimes, even if he didn’t realise what he was saying. Her entire life had been empty without him for years, but then she knew he’d been lonely as well. She hoped with everything she had that he had finally got past his fears and would let them have a life together. There was no reason for any of them to be so lonely.

 

She was silent for a moment and he watched her carefully, his eyes widening when he realised what he’d said.

 

“Rose, I’m so sorry,” he said, the words coming out in a rush as he took a couple of steps toward her, his hands held out in front of him. “I said that without thinking.”

 

She shook her head. “It’s fine,” she whispered. “It just...reminded me, you know?”

 

His hands fell helplessly to his sides. “I know,” he said quietly. “I wish I could take it all back.”

 

Her eyes locked with his and she couldn’t stop staring at him. She knew he meant what he said, and while it helped, it didn’t make everything better. Still, they either had to move forward or resign themselves to forever living under the shadow of what he’d done. Rose knew she wanted to move forward. 

 

“Rose?” he whispered.

 

Rose didn’t say anything, just moved towards him, smiling as he took a few hesitant steps back until he was against the wall.

 

“Rose?” he asked again. She wondered what he was reading in her eyes. There were too many emotions flooding her mind and she was unable to settle on just one. She only knew that she wanted him. For better or for worse, despite everything he’d done to hurt her, she still wanted him.

 

She shook her head again, moving closer until her body was pressed against his. “Shh,” she said, shushing him. “Let’s not think about that right now.” She felt his body respond.

 

He opened his mouth to argue with her, but she didn’t give him the chance. Instead, she lifted up onto her tiptoes and pressed her mouth to his. As he kissed her back, she could feel him giving in to her. One of his hands threaded into her hair, the other held her waist, supporting her. She pressed one of her hands to the wall behind him and pushed him into the wall. She liked the power she had over him.

 

They kissed for a long time, their mouths moving together perfectly. The hand on her hip worked its way under her top and she sighed against him as his fingers splayed out across her back. His lips moved away from hers and he kissed her cheek and then along her jaw, making his way down to her neck. He breathed out against her skin and she shuddered.

 

She moved her lips to his ear. “I want to make love to you,” she said moving her hands under his shirt, feeling the little shiver that went through him.

 

His hand cupped her cheek and he kissed her softly. “Please,” he whispered.

 

She pulled back, took his hand in hers, and led him to their bedroom. He followed closely, his hand gripping hers tightly, like she was the only thing keeping him from being pulled under. They closed the door behind them and turned to face each other.

 

They undressed each other, taking time to kiss and worship newly revealed skin. It wasn’t always like this, so hushed and reverent; there were plenty of nights where they giggled and tripped over each other, stumbling to the bed, but not tonight. Tonight was about showing each other that they’d made the right decision, that they were where they wanted to be.

 

She guided him to the bed, laying him down on his back. She wanted to be on top. They held each other’s eyes as he slid inside her and they were still for a moment, just revelling in being together.

 

They made love slowly, sweetly, drawing it out with long kisses and whispered words of affection and love. Every touch of his hand on her skin was a promise, every touch of hers on his, forgiveness. They came within seconds of each other and she collapsed against his chest as he held her tightly. They breathed in and out in unison for a few moments, taking comfort in being so close to each other.

 

“I love you,” he whispered into her neck.

 

“I love you too,” she said, pulling up so that she could look him in the eye. She gave him a small smile, letting him know that she was okay, that they were okay.

 

He wound his fingers in her hair and pulled her in for a kiss. “I missed you,” he said, his lips still against her.

 

She kissed him back.

 

~o~

 

Hours later, Rose awoke. Her eyes slowly adjusting to the dark, she looked at the sleeping form of the Doctor. His hair was wild and ruffled and his hand was curled under his cheek. She brushed a kiss over his forehead and then got up. She was wearing his shirt and he’d put on the dreaded pyjama bottoms. They’d taken to sleeping in clothes ever since Kira had wandered in one night unannounced.

 

Adjusting the covers around him, she made her way to the kitchen for a drink of water. She was on her way back to the bedroom when she decided to take another peek at Kira. She knew she’d get to see her that afternoon, but she couldn’t resist.

 

She quietly pushed the door open. Kira rolled over and then sat up. “Mum?” she said.

 

“Hi, love,” Rose whispered, smiling. She felt bad for waking her, but was thrilled she was awake all the same. Kira held her arms out to her and Rose took two quick steps across the room and swept her into a hug.

 

“Daddy is awful at making cheese on toast,” Kira said solemnly. “He burns it every time.”

 

Rose laughed and kissed her daughter. “I’ll make you some of mine tomorrow. And I’ll make sure I teach Daddy how to do it.”

 

“Thank you,” Kira said. “Is it time to wake up?”

 

“No, you’ve got a few more hours,” Rose said, still holding Kira close to her, not yet ready to let her go.

 

Kira frowned. “I’m not sure I can sleep again.”

 

Rose smiled at her. “Do you want to sleep with us?”

 

Kira beamed. “Can I?” she asked.

 

Rose lifted her up and carried her to the bedroom. “You have to be quiet,” she told Kira. “Daddy’s asleep.”

 

Kira nodded. “We played tag this evening. He ran a lot.”

 

Rose chuckled and settled them down on the bed, putting herself between Kira and the Doctor so that their wiggly daughter wouldn’t wake him. He was usually such a light sleeper, but he barely moved as she shifted closer to him. He gave a little sigh in his sleep and wound his arm around her and Kira.

 

Rose softly rubbed Kira’s back as she told her about her day, both of their eyelids growing heavier with each passing minute. A few moments later, Kira was asleep.

 

Rose stretched out her legs, tangling her feet with the Doctor’s as he pressed his nose into her hair. Slowly, carefully, she kissed first Kira and then him. And then she too fell asleep.