wishiknewwho | Eyes Wide Open (4/?) [Birthday Fic for salimali]

Title: Eyes Wide Open
Author: wishiknewwho
Rating: G
Characters: TenII / Rose
Dislcaimer: I don't own Doctor Who and it's probably just as well that I don't because it'd be nothing but hugs and hair ruffling for the foreseeable future. Title taken from the song "Naked as We Came" by Iron and Wine.
Spoilers: Post JE.
Summary: Rose and the human Doctor find their way after Journey's End.
Author Notes: Sorry these updates have been so sporadic. My writing life has been a little hectic these past couple of weeks. As always, for my dear salimali .

Epic thanks to the splendiforous nipplemuggins for the beta.

The Doctor trudged along behind Rose, his arms loaded down with bags. They had been shopping for hours, and while he’d enjoyed spending the day with Rose, his arms and legs ached. He’d been shopping with her on many occasions, but never quite like this. He’d thought, when he suggested getting some things to wear, that he’d pick up a couple of pairs of trousers, a few shirts, maybe a new pair of trainers, as he was sure he’d never get the sand from the ones he was wearing.

But Rose had taken it to mean that he needed an entire wardrobe. He was fitted for suits, and then she led him around the shops, helping him pick out trousers, shirts, jeans, t-shirts, underwear, and several pairs of shoes. He’d decided that he would give up wearing the suit every day, feeling that it was time for a change.

They finally stopped for a late lunch at a cafe, and he dropped dramatically into his chair, scattering his bags around him. “I’m exhausted,” he said, laying his head on the table for a moment.

Rose giggled at his antics. “Surely you can’t be that tired,” she said. “We’ve had much more active days than this.”

He frowned playfully at her. “But it’s shopping, Rose,” he said, as if that explained everything.

She shook her head at him, but didn’t have time to retort before the waiter came to take their order. Once he left, Rose pulled a list out of her pocket.

“Let’s see, we’ve got clothes, shoes, underwear,” she said, reading down the list. “Now we just need food and some stuff for you at Tesco’s.”

“And then we’re finished?” he asked hopefully, taking a large swallow of the water the waiter had brought.

Rose nodded. “Yes. Well, we still need to get you some identification. You’ll need a name, and decide what kind of credentials you’d like.”

“The name’s easy. John Smith,” he said, not even thinking. It didn’t matter much to him, because Rose was already calling him Doctor. The name on his papers would just be a formality.

“John Smith,” Rose echoed. “Strangely enough, it suits you. Now about your degree.”

“I don’t suppose I could get a doctorate in everything,” he mused, tapping his fingers against his lips.

Rose laughed. “I think that might call a little too much attention to you,” she said. “How about you decide on a job you might like, and then we’ll set you up a doctorate that goes along with it.”

He smiled widely at her. “Good thinking,” he said brightly.

She grinned back, pleased with his compliment. They looked at each other for a moment, both of them shifting in their seats as the Doctor scrambled to think of something to say. Things had been really good between them so far, but now with nothing between them but a table, they had run out of things to talk about.

He fiddled with his straw for a moment, and then noticed the straw paper Rose had left on the table. “Did you know I can make a snake?” he asked her.

She raised an eyebrow. “No, I didn’t.” He couldn’t tell if she was just humouring him or if she was actually interested.

“I can,” he said. He carefully crunched up the paper, then put his finger over the top of his straw, suctioning a bit of water. He let a few drops fall on the paper, and it unfurled slowly, just like a snake.

Rose laughed, the sound warming him. “I haven’t seen that trick in ages,” she said.

The Doctor tapped his fingers restlessly against the table. That had kept them occupied for all of a minute. Now they were back to silence. There was only one thing on his mind, but it was making him uncomfortable. He needed to tell her about his others plans, about his desire to have his own place, but he wasn’t sure how to begin. Fortunately, he was saved by the waiter bringing their food.

They both dug in, hungry after all of the walking and the stress of shopping. He was glad for the food, as it provided a welcome distraction from the awkward silence. At least if he was eating, he didn’t feel as though he should be talking.

He ate slowly, mulling over how he could go about telling Rose that he wanted his own flat. He tried to reassure himself that she would understand easily. She probably didn’t even want him living with her and would be glad that he’d decided on his own, saving her the trouble of telling him he had to move out. He finally landed on the straightforward approach. Before his change, before he became human, he talked around things, was a prize beater-around-the-bush, but he didn’t want to do that any longer. He wanted to just tell her how he felt.

He set his fork down and took a small sip of his water. “Rose?” he said, waiting until he was sure he had her attention. She glanced up from her soup and gave him a small smile and he went on. “Once I get a job and have enough money, I’d like to get my own flat.”

Rose’s spoon clattered into her almost-empty bowl and it took a moment for her eyes to meet his. “You would?” she asked quietly.

“Yeah,” he said, trying to choose his words carefully as she was obviously startled and possibly upset by his revelation. “It’s just, the TARDIS was my home, has been for almost as long as I can remember. And then I come here, and I’m trying to start over. I saw your flat, and how amazing it is. I want to do that as well.”

She ran her finger around the edge of her bowl and he watched as she swallowed thickly. “Okay,” she said. “I can help you to do that.” She didn’t look at him.

The Doctor’s neck felt warm, and again he found himself unsure of what to say. He’d obviously hurt her and he felt like he should apologise. “I’m sorry,” he said.

She brushed it off. “There’s no need to be sorry. Of course you’d want your own place. My flat’s not big enough for the two of us, certainly not like the TARDIS.” She stirred her spoon in the remains of her soup and still wouldn’t meet his eye.

“Rose,” he said softly. He reached across the table and stilled her hand. When she let go of the spoon, he laced his fingers with hers. “I know it sounds like I’m leaving you or I don’t want you, but I promise you that’s not it at all.”

“What is it then?” she asked, finally looking up at him. Her eyes were bright. “I thought you wanted to be with me.” He realized then that she didn’t want him out of her flat at all, and had probably been thinking of him living there with her.

“I do want to be with you,” he hastily reassured her, rubbing his thumb over the back of her hand. “I do. I just think that we should take things slowly. You remember when I said that the other night?”

She nodded slowly.

He took a moment to collect his thoughts before going on. This talking was more difficult than he thought it would be, and he found himself wanting to do something silly to make her laugh or babble to distract her. Instead, he went on. “All of this is so new to me, Rose. But I want to learn. If I live with you, I’ll become dependent on you. And I’m not saying that’s a bad thing,” he hurried to tell her, “If you have to be dependent on someone, then Rose Tyler’s the best way to go.” He gave her a lopsided grin and she returned it with a small smile.

He swallowed and tried again to explain himself, making a mental note not to ramble. “And the thing is, if I depend on your for everything, I won’t be able to be what you need. I want us to be equals. Does that make sense at all?” He sucked in a breath, feeling flustered and a little hopeless.

“I think so,” she said, using her free hand to get her glass and take a sip of water. “You want some time to figure out who you are.”

He nodded, happy that she was always so good at figuring out what he was trying to say, even when he couldn’t articulate himself. “Exactly,” he said. “And we can take time to do this right. I can take you out on dates, like any other bloke would.”

“Okay,” she said. “I’d like that.”

He squeezed her hand, then let go so that they could finish eating. Once they were done, they gathered all of their bags and trudged back to Rose’s flat to drop them off before going to Tesco’s.

“Have you thought about where you might like to live?” Rose asked as she wheeled the trolley along. It was already half-full with all of his bathroom products and the food he declared they “had to have.”

He’d just picked up a bag of crisps, trying to decide which flavour to buy. “I don’t know,” he said thoughtfully. “It probably won’t be as big as I’d like, unless I wind up doing something that makes a lot of money.”

“I could help you out,” she offered, dropping a bag of her favourite crisps in the trolley. “If what you want costs more.”

He shook his head. “No, I want to pay for it.” He didn’t want to sound ungrateful or hurt her feelings, but he needed to see if he could support himself, and if that meant a smaller flat for a while, then that would be fine.

“Okay,” she said, and he was relieved to hear that she didn’t sound hurt. “I was like that when I first came here. Dad wanted to set me up in a huge flat and pay for everything, but I didn’t want that. I’d never lived on my own, and I wanted to do it myself.”

He dropped his own crisps into the trolley and went to stand next to her, putting his hands by hers as they pushed it along the aisle. “I’ve never thought much about a place to live other than the TARDIS,” he said. “When I used to imagine being here with you in Pete’s World, I never gave much thought to where we’d be living.”

She nudged his hip with hers. “So what did you think about, Doctor?” she asked, giving him a cheeky smile.

“Why, Rose Tyler!” he said, bumping her back and sliding his hand over hers. “You are just full of surprises.”

“I am,” she said. “You just wait and see.”

He shook his head at her, wanting to kiss her there in the middle of Tesco’s under the harsh fluorescent lights in the middle of the dairy aisle. He imagined that she would taste like love and laughter and the life he wanted. He was just about to lean in when she spun around to grab a carton of milk and the moment was gone.

He sighed and resigned himself to wait until the time was right.

Five

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Oh, what a wonderful surprise to come home to. I'm glad that the Doctor wants to take it that slowly, and learn about himself and his new life this. It's great, it's human, it's refreshing.

Oh, that gave me a big grin. I thought it'd be interesting to explore in a non-angsty way what might happen if they decided not to rush into things. Thank you so much for reading.

This is lovely. I like this version of domestic and slowly finding out where they stand and who they are.

Thank you so much! I kind of wanted to try them out doing something other than working for Torchwood.

:D

I was so worried about this chapter...poor Rose, she was so worried and scared he was going to leave her again *sigh* as if he'd ever!!!

I'm glad to see she took it well, but I think he needs to give her a little more in the way of hugs and kisses.. ahem, I mean reassurance ;)

Love the way this is all panning out -- Thank you again *hearts*

*hugs Rose* This is all hard on her, but I think she'll get used to it.

Don't worry, hugs and kisses are coming soon. ;)

You're more than welcome, my dear.

YAY! HAPPY UPDATE TIME!!!! Been waiting for a while for one... XD AND NOW I GOTS ME ONE!!!
Good job :D

Yay! It makes me ridiculously excited that you've been actually waiting for this. I worry that this fic will be forgotten. Of course, I suppose I fail at not posting enough. But no worries, I've finished the next and I will try to have it up soon.

Yay!! New Chapter. I'm really, really enjoying this, and I really like that you want the Doctor to get his own place, cos I've not really read that often. We all just assume they will shack up together and be happy.

Thank you so much! I thought that for this one, I'd try him living on his own for a bit, and let their relationship grow slowly. We'll see how it works.

Oh good for him, wanting to be his own man.

Yep, he wants to be independent. :D

This is just lovely!

Thank you so much!

I really like the idea of him having his own place. It will probably still be hard on Rose for a while but she will reap the benefits later own.

Yes, it's going to be very hard on her. But she will eventually see that it's a good idea for them to take things slowly.

Aww, it must be so hard for her to be supportive when it seems like he's pulling away. *hugs Rose* I totally get why he's doing this, and it'll be for the best in the long-run. But...ouch.

Whaddaya mean, when the time is right? How is the dairy aisle at Tescos not just as awesome and sweet and human as 2am on the street corner? Make your move, Doc!

Yes, it is very hard for her. We don't see this from her POV, but trust me, there have been some tears. However, she's trying, because it's what he wants.

And yes, he's an idiot.

I'm sorry. Real Life has been so busy I'm playing catch up on all my favourite authors stories. This looks to be another of your series that I'm going to love if these first four chapters are anything to go by. The Doctor and Rose as just so beautiful together and I can feel it right down in my heart how much I want them to make a go of this new life and be happy.. Looking forward to more.

Don't feel bad.

I'm so glad you're liking it. They really want it to work out too! ;) More coming soon(ish).

I totally missed this when you posted a few days ago, but I'm here now! :D

I still love this whole thing, how slow they are taking it, how he wants to date her! *squee!* It's so cute and so him to want the full breadth of the human experience. The Doctor getting his own place isn't something you see much of in post-JE fics and I really like that. Like

wildwinterwitch said, it's refreshing.

There is something about Tesco aisles that are just perfect for Doctor/Rose kisses it seems. I so wanted him to kiss her and then when she turned around for the milk it felt like something we'd see in an episode! This is so brilliant!

Yay! I'm glad you found it. I feel like I struck the

nylana-good-review jackpot today. ;)

With the two places, I thought it would be interesting to see them live on their own for a bit, particularly the Doctor. It's going to make for some interesting bits in the coming chapters.

And I was thisclose to having him kiss her, but decided to make them wait a little longer.

Thank you so much for commenting.

Eyes Wide Open (4/?) [Birthday Fic for salimali]

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